Dating Tips From The Winsome Women

If you are visiting part of your extended family in another state, be sure to get a list of all the relatives who live in that area before you go home with someone from the local saloon.

An Exciting Announcement From Grandmother Winsome

Kiddies, as a safety precaution, while I was testing out a new program on the rebuilt robot maid, I had everyone clear out of Winsome Headquarters for several days. We made sure to take with us all our important electronic devices, just in case there was a repeat of last month's debacle. Edward drove us in his traveling massage parlor to my cousin Millie's home in the next state. Boy, was she surprised to see us. The last time I saw her, Jane was Cindy's age. We had a good time reminiscing about our youthful exploits, but soon it was time to get back to check on the state of Winsome Headquarters. I am delighted to report that everything is in order here. There had been no explosions, no fires, no destruction of property. The new robot maid had even fed the cats in my laboratory, which was completely unnecessary. Kiddies, I couldn't be happier!

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

This morning when I got to the Birch Street Nursing Home, all the female patients were gathered around Mr. Volkov in the activity room. He was reading to them a story from an old magazine. I started to set up the poker table, but the patients didn't seem interested in playing. When Mr. Volkov took a break to get a glass of water, Mrs. Henley told me she could listen to him talk all day.

An Important Message About Passwords

Kiddies, as you might be aware, there have been many security breaches lately, and I was able to learn from them that a common password is "GrandmotherWinsome#1." While I am flattered, I want to caution folks from using the same password that many others are using. So, try variations, such as "#1GrandmotherWinsome" and "GrandmotherWinsomeIs#1."

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

When I got to the Birch Street Nursing Home this morning, Mrs. Kunkle and Mrs. Macmillan were already at the poker table, with a chair they'd labeled "Mr. Volkov" between them. Mrs. Henley and Mrs. Patterson were not happy when they came down and saw that. They argued that Mr. Volkov should be allowed to sit wherever he wished. Just then, Mr. Volkov stepped into the activity room, and the argument came to a sudden stop while he took his seat between Mrs. Kunkle and Mrs. Macmillan. During the poker game, the patients were more talkative than usual, asking Mr. Volkov all kinds of questions about his childhood and hobbies. The conversation stopped only when Mr. Volkov nodded off. Mrs. Lieberman urged the others to use that time for a bathroom break.

Grandmother Winsome's Birthday Message

Kiddies, I just want to thank you for all the birthday wishes and gifts. I especially want to thank Mary Miller of Stowe, Vermont for the blowtorch and maple syrup.

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

Today at the Birch Street Nursing Home I learned that the head nurse chose Mr. Volkov as the new patient to move into Mr. Tanaka's old room. Mrs. Lieberman was excited to have a fresh player at the poker table. And the other players seemed happy to have him there too. Whenever Mr. Volkov called for another card, Mrs. Henley and Mrs. Patterson moved their chairs a little closer to him. During one hand, he fell asleep at the poker table, and Mrs. Henley couldn't stop herself from taking a quick glance at his cards.

Spread The Word

Help spread the word, Kiddies! If you work as a flagger on a road construction crew, cover up the word "Slow" on the traffic sign you hold with the words "Follow Grandmother Winsome."

Cindy's Job At The Birch Street Nursing Home

When I got to the Birch Street Nursing Home this morning, I found a note from the head nurse letting me know she's trying to fill the vacancy left after Mr. Tanaka's death. She had scheduled three potential patients to stop by today to look at the room. She also told me to write down notes for her about any special needs the patients might have. It was a shame that our poker game kept getting interrupted, but the potential patients all seemed nice. The first to stop by was Mr. Thompson, who couldn't get up into the room because he was in a wheelchair, so I had to turn him away. Next was Mrs. Langley, who needed a bit of help getting her oxygen tank up the stairs, but said the room would be perfect for her and her three cats. And the last person was Mr. Volkov, who fell asleep as soon as I got him up into the room. It took me a while to wake him, and when I did, he kept asking me who I was. I left my notes for the head nurse, and am excited to find out which patient she'll pick.

A Message From Cindy

Now that Grandmother has dismantled the latest robot maid and we can post on the blog again, I wanted to update everyone about my job at the Birch Street Nursing Home. On October 5th, Mrs. Henley got a four of a kind, and then, while she was still celebrating, got a straight flush on the very next hand. And on October 12th, Mr. Tanaka died.